Travis was not an overly attractive man and was somewhat confused to be always caught in the gaze of Maria.

Maria was a slender woman with short cropped hair and had large jugs which she sold at her market stall alongside Travis's flourishing caramelised mackerel stall which was a raging success amongst the strange and bewildered

"Nice jugs" Travis joked as he proceeded to open a bag of salt and vinegar chips in a very seductive manner before fart coughing and banging his head on a portrait of Nelson Mandela that he hung in his stall for good luck.

He played it off cool like nothing had happened despite the blood trickle and the glass embedded in his forehead as he joked to the portrait "you need locking up for that".

Maria hurried him to the back of her stall to where she kept a first aid kit, fire extinguisher and a CD signed by Ben Lummis.

They began to chat vigorously and Travis unleashed a barrage of discourse interrogative, or the other way round if your fussy about the words being in proper order.

He asked Maria personal questions.

She cracked and said she was a swinger. He was confused as to what this meant and said he was more into bouncy castles but had grown out of it but often relapsed, especially during the wet season.

They laughed and had salmon pate. She wondered what kind of physique lay hidden under his SpongeBob t shirt as she reached for her inhaler desperate for breath and needing assistance with air, as the air was so thick with sexual tension you could cut it with a line trimmer.