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What Are Your Expectations?
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As a rule,we move at the speed of the least experienced couple and we always state that upfront.
Sometimes we just meet for drinks then organise playtime away from that,but we have also done both in the same evening as long as it is fully discussed in advance. Both couples should also be prepared to discuss what their boundaries are for activity as well as any likes or dislikes.
Our preference is to warm our partner up before initiating anything with the other couple,a straight swap with no preliminaries is a bit weird as we like to be able to touch each other during proceedings.
I guess the biggest thing we have learned is that even if things seem to be going well, good conversation etc,it may still not work. We have had plenty of meetings with couples and on the surface they seem very keen then we never hear from them again. We all have to realise that we all have different motivations for swinging and for whatever reason they decided not to take it further. Learning to not take rejection personally is a very useful asset 
Interesting questions, it will be interesting to see what others have to say but here goes
We have only had one encounter with another couple and a lot was discussed between the two ladies prior to the meet. This led to high expectations of what was to happen, unfortunately it didn't turn out as planned. It was still a very fun, enjoyable night, but it didn't go as far as expected. Next time it will be taken as it comes (pun intended)
Our guidelines are simple, safe sex and if any one is uncomfortable with what is going on speak up and everyone stops. We are willing to do most things including full swap but will be keeping all activities to the same room.
We should add that we are not just here for sex, We are looking for friends with benefits who we can see for non bedroom activities as well. We also have children so it can take time to set up a play date, so we what to make it worth it.
Our exectations are nothing more than that.
Just meeting for drinks or a coffee, nothing more, nothing less.
You cant get to know people from behind a keyboard.
We never agree to a play date before we have met in person.
While still at the meeting we may offer a play date to some, to most we wont.
We normally discuss this in private together before deciding, so the decision is later.
We agree with above, you must get used to rejection and not take it personally.
We never give a reason for saying no thanks, and we dont want to know the reason from others for a no thanks.
Knowing the true reason for being rejected could make things awkward in the future if/when paths cross.
But the main reason for not giving giving or wanting a reason is this:
Times, people, crtieria, choices, situations, experience, choices, reasoning.......it all changes and develops.
A number of those who were "no thanks" are now good friends and playmates.
The chances are we would not be if we (or them) had known of the reason for rjection at the time.
^^^ Agreed,I don't think it's that helpful to know why a couple doesn't want to play with us. Alot of it might come down to how they look and it would be unwise to say "you're too fat" or "we don't like you". We've certainly had a few weird ones,ones that appear keen then disappear into the wilderness but it's best not to pursue them because they've obviously changed their minds. Part of the benefit of this board is that you learn who the cautious/indecisive ones are fairly quickly and can move on!
Forum Virgin
Hi maybe a little late to start exploring, but would appreciate a 'helping hand' as I gain experience and skills.
D plato
Sexlightened
Quote by Juleigh1975
Went to my first party in January and another three since. While they are all very hot n sexy I still feel like a deer in headlights. I understand it takes time, correct? 😘
Like any situation repeated exposure helps with confidence. How many times depends entirely on you, and as each party is different some may help more than others.
Unsolicited advice would be to take it slowly, you can always speed up if it's feeling right 😉
I'm new to this site and swinging and at the moment I'm trying to learn about the lingo, how it all works etc. I don't really know what to expect but hope people will be kind, gentle and happy to be discreet. One of my questions is whether it's a must to remove body hair down there. Seems like that's what everyone wants but I've never had a Brazilian! Proper swinging virgin here 😄
Sexlightened
Quote by Blackcatmagic
I'm new to this site and swinging and at the moment I'm trying to learn about the lingo, how it all works etc. I don't really know what to expect but hope people will be kind, gentle and happy to be discreet. One of my questions is whether it's a must to remove body hair down there. Seems like that's what everyone wants but I've never had a Brazilian! Proper swinging virgin here 😄
100% your choice.
Everyone has preferences, you'd have to do all the maintenance and so I'd recommend doing whatever feels best / allows the most confidence in your body.
I definitely wouldn't start out doing something just because someone else likes it! This goes for activities as well as personal grooming preferences!
This is your experience so do whatever feels best for you! 😊
Not everyone is kind, so an ability to let anything that isn't helpful wash away will be useful.
Happy swinging!
Warming the Bed
Quote by Daisyppp
This is your experience so do whatever feels best for you!
💯
Forum Virgin
Hi daisy good reviews and vibes I’m getting from you can’t wait to chat more maybe catchup 👌beer beach mini golf pools our place?😊
Forum Virgin
We are similar to a few people who commented on here. In that we find it essential to meet a couple socially first
It is super important to make sure we are all on the same page too. As we have found at least a few couples who seem to just want to meet and fuck and that's not what we are looking for. So those couples tend to just ghost you
When you do meet a couple you want to play with, same room fun is the best start I feel. If you are a couple like us for example. As I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle seeing my partner having sex with another women and wasn't sure how he would react to seeing another man have sex with me
My partner was great with making sure I was all good. He kept physical contact with me as much as he could and had eye contact with me as much as he could. I found it quite hot watching him fuck another women, so I'm glad I felt ok with that. Though I think the chics partner didn't like that I kept looking at my partner. As it seemed like he just wanted me to himself
They were clearly mostly after just new people to fuck, so they have since ghosted us. Which is fine. Some people just don't seem to bother politely saying, that was fun, but yeah nah
Warming the Bed
Quote by Daisyppp
100% your choice.
Everyone has preferences, you'd have to do all the maintenance and so I'd recommend doing whatever feels best / allows the most confidence in your body.
I definitely wouldn't start out doing something just because someone else likes it! This goes for activities as well as personal grooming preferences!
This is your experience so do whatever feels best for you! 😊
Not everyone is kind, so an ability to let anything that isn't helpful wash away will be useful.
Happy swinging!
Great advice Daisy 😊👌
Forum Virgin
Well I can only talk about our experiences. Looking back it all started by accidents in another country. We were lucky enough to meet a very nice couple that introduced us into swinging very slowly and took their time with plenty of advice. They introduced us to other couples and we all had a great time. We would always meet socially first. And there was never any expectations other than to meet an interesting couple, have lots of laughs and probably talk some shit. Playing was never disgust. Later Pete or Sharon would get back to us if play was on the agenda. That was when we were very young. When we returned to New Zealand, playing was put on the back burner and we focused more on raising a family. We had a lot of experiences but to be honest very few were from sites like this. Although at least it got us started and allowed us to meet some long time friends. Over the years we have seen a change in this site. It used to be full of genuine people wanting to meet other people but now the number of dishonest time wasters and bull shitters has increased. You can never get to much advice, but have no expectations, move slowly, don't do anything your not comfortable with and have good and honest dialogue with your partner is key.
Sexlightened
Quote by Minneme
You can never get to much advice, but
-have no expectations,
-move slowly,
-don't do anything your not comfortable with and
-have good and honest dialogue with your partner is key.
This ^ 👌
(Layout change to emphasize these really good points)
