As you came up the drive you noticed with annoyance that once again the builders didn't seem to be making any progress on your extension. Two of them were sitting on the low wall they'd built, smoking roll-ups. Inside the house, you became aware of the sound of the boiler refilling - a clear sign that a tap had been left running. One of the crew had obviously used the bathroom and left it on. Annoyed again, you climbed th...

This is a story about the dirtiest thing that ever happened to me? OK... I say happened to ME, really I guess I mean happened to my (then) girlfriend. She had this thing about outdoor sex, and over time it developed into quite specific needs. It turned out that what she really wanted was to have sex in a muddy field. Now, we thought about this a lot, and the requirements were that obviously it had to be warm enough for se...