Alright, let’s keep it real. I’m 6’7” (yeah, I know, height is my whole personality now), and I’m here for a good time with a lady who loves her curves—because I definitely do. Thick thighs save lives, and I’m tryna live forever.

I’ve got a smile that’s been called 'distractingly good' and a laugh that might scare your dog (sorry in advance). I’m fluent in sarcasm, can whip up a grilled cheese that’ll make you question your life choices, and my dance moves are... let’s just say Napoleon Dynamite ain't got shit on me.

Looking for someone who can appreciate a guy who’s equally comfortable in an apron telling dad jokes as he is trying (and failing) to fold a fitted sheet. Seriously, how do people do that? It’s gotta be a conspiracy.

If you’re into a mix of charm, awkwardness, and the occasional 'wait, that was a bad idea' moment, swipe right (oops sorry wrong platform) Let’s make some questionable life choices together and laugh about it later.